The most popular sex toys
If you’re new to the sex toy game, the range of items on offer can seem overwhelming. The best place for you to start is learning what the most popular (and basic) sex toys are, then determining which will be right for you – or if you fancy something a little more out-there!
Firstly, we’ve got the arguably most-discussed sex toy – the good old vibrator. This is a device typically shaped like a phallus that vibrates; that’s all, nothing to be scared of! Of course, this is the vibrator at its most simple. There are a whole host of shapes, sizes, colours, vibration settings etc. to choose from, but if you’re a beginner, you’ll likely start with a basic model.
Next, we’ve got the dildo – the vibrator that doesn’t vibrate. Usually made of plastic, rubber, or – if you’re a cut above the rest – glass, dildos are ideal for replicating the experience of having sex with a man. These can range from smaller models, say two – three inches to the most extreme; some measuring in at a whopping 12 – 14 inches. Some come with fake testicles attached, for a more realistic experience, whilst some are designed to be as unrealistic as is possible.
For the slightly more advanced (and dominating!), there’s the strap-on. Strap-ons are basically dildos attached to a harness, allowing someone who doesn’t have a penis of their own to wear it. Of course, these can be utilised by men too, but that’s a niche taste. Strap-ons are usually either used by two ladies having sex, who fancy dominating or being penetrated; or by heterosexual couples who fancy mixing things up a bit. These can bring a great change of pace and can help the lady feel a little more in control.
Lastly, we tackle the butt plugs. These are basically dildos but are shaped to provide maximum pleasure when inserted into the anus. These are suitable for all shapes, sizes and genders, but take a bit of getting used to! Using these for the first time can be painful, so it’s important to use a lot of lubricant and just go slow.
The Amazing Range Of Sex Toys
The Purpose Of Sex Toys
Some sex toy aid the man’s erection, stimulate the female genitals to become more sensitive or provide a different feel to ‘normal’ sex. Other sex toys provide an ‘environment’ for variations in sex, for example so called orgy bed sheets. Sometimes they are used to help a person who has difficulty with unaided sex to achieve sexual satisfaction. However most sex toys provide a new way to directly stimulate the male or female genitals to achieve sexual satisfaction.
Using sex toys can provide new experiences and variation in the sexual experience. It can also provide a fantasy element for enhancing or revitalising a relationship.
The usual expectation is that a sex toy provides direct stimulation of the genitals in foreplay and/or during sexual intercourse or as a means to obtain orgasm through only the stimulation provided by the sex toy.
Types of Sex Toys
Vibrating Sex Toys
Probably the most well known sex toys are ‘vibrators’ which, as the name suggests, provide stimulation of the genitals using vibration. They are mainly used to stimulate the clitoris, but may also be used to stimulate any other part of the female body or that of a man’s.
The simplest of these are pencil or wand shaped (though normally thicker than a pencil). They often have an internal battery (or two) which powers a small electric motor. Sometimes the battery pack and controller are external and connected to the vibrator by a wire. This motor is fitted with a small, out of balance, weight attached to the shaft. As this weight rotates it throws the motor and vibrator into a small circular movement which causes the vibration you feel.
With a vibrator that has a controller, as the power is increased the speed of the motor increases and with it both the rate and strength of vibration. Both the strength and rate of vibration effects how stimulating you find the sex toy. The best effect may not be as strong and as fast as possible. The optimum settings may well change as your degree of excitement builds. To get the best results it is worth buying a vibrator which is controllable.
Different vibrators will have different characteristics and you may well find you prefer one combination much more than another and your preference may even vary depending on which part of your body you are stimulating.
More recently electronic vibrator controllers have appeared which provide not only the static control of power/speed but also allow you to select patterns of power pulses and surges. These can be very effective.
There are also other vibrating sex toys such as butterfly stimulators and vibrating penis rings.
Other Powered Sex Toys
There are some sex toys that use other ways to provide mechanical stimulation. These usually depend on a motor that makes the sex toy continually change its shape which provides a sort of rotational movement or makes it move back and forth. The back and forth movements are sometimes powered by an air pump rather than a motor. The movements have been used to create, for example, mechanical licking tongues, vibrators that ‘penetrate’ the vagina and mouth simulators to give a man a ‘blow job’.
On a bigger scale and much more expensive, there are ‘sex machines’ that incorporate thrusting and vibrating dildos.
Combination Sex Toys
So far we have covered vibrating, moving and thrusting sex toys. As you may have guessed these are all offered in a bewildering array of combinations.
A common combination in many ‘Rabbit Style’ vibrators is clitoral stimulation using vibrations and vaginal stimulation using movement and sometimes a thrusting motion as well.
Many sex toys add varying textures to their surfaces; a dildo or vibrator may have ridges or soft spikes or a rippled shape.
Sensation Change Sex Toys
Some sex toys rather than provide vibrating or moving stimulation, change the feel of sex.
For instance there are a variety of sleeves to put over the penis to provide different sensations for both partners while engaged in penetrative sex.
There are rings that squeeze the base of the penis and/or tighten the scrotum that assist the man’s erection and also changes his sensations. There are penis extenders and thickeners which may give a man’s partner greater sensations during penetration.
There are a wide variety of lubricants that can significantly change the feel of sex.
There are PVC and Polyurethane bed sheets that are water and oil proof that can be used for slippery or messy sex.
Why Use A Sex Toy?
A good question is: why do people use a sex toy? Surely fingers, tongues, penises, clitorises and vaginas etc all provide great sexual stimulation and enjoyment.
Well, apart from therapeutic uses (eg erection assistance), sex toys can drive the imagination (being taken by a machine), provide variety (new ways to do old things), vary the stimulating effects in otherwise normal sex (penis sleeves) and some can provide experiences not possible with ‘normal body parts’ (particularly vibrating sex toys and electro-stimulation).
Arranging a dirty weekend
Let’s admit it – everyone likes a dirty weekend every now and then. However if you haven’t had one for a while, you may be a little out of touch with what it takes to arrange. Here’s a how-to guide on organising the perfect weekend away with your partner.
Firstly, make sure you book somewhere really nice to stay. Don’t be afraid to scrimp on the price. You probably don’t get to do this very often so be sure to treat yourself.
Secondly, make sure there’s a restaurant in the hotel or nearby that you can have a really delicious meal at. Nothing gets you in the romantic spirit like a five-star meal, but if you plan on romping all night afterwards, be sure to take a walk before returning to your hotel. No-one likes getting jiggy on a full stomach – especially if the steak ends up repeating itself.
Next, make sure you pack the right equipment. No, not your GHDs or curling iron; something a bit saucier than that. Think adult films, lubricant and strap-on dildos. It’s all about whatever takes yours and your partner’s fancy, so pack whatever you know will get you both going. If it’s a nurse’s outfit, whack it in…or perhaps you’d enjoy a bit of light bondage? Just be sure that if you are flying to your destination, it’s not too obvious in your bag – or you may get searched!
Lastly, remember to have fun! Just go with it and be sure to pack your favourite underwear, as this will really boost your confidence. Also, it’s not a crime to decide just to go to sleep! Though you have gone away with the best of intentions, sometimes all you want to do is climb into bed together, have a quick cuddle and get a few hours of shut eye. So if it doesn’t go to plan – perhaps one of you isn’t feeling well, or you just aren’t in the mood – don’t panic. There will be plenty more dirty weekends!
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Sustaining an erection
It’s something that is laughed about in bawdy film comedies, yet premature ejaculation or an erection that simply doesn’t last the course affects millions of men around the world. However, for them it’s no laughing matter; affecting relationships and denting self-esteem.
There are many reasons why this may occur and equally as many steps to take to sustain a harder erection, for longer.
Of course, looking after yourself has a huge bearing on the quality and duration of an erection. Cutting down on alcohol, smoking and eating fatty foods are a given; but making sure you get regular (external bedroom) exercise in addition to decent amounts of rest should mean you are in tip-top physical condition.
Penis rings can help prolong an erection. Usually made from rubber (though they do come in a variety of different models) the ring fits around the base of the erect penis (and condom), keeping the blood in place; which should allow you to maintain an erection for around 30 minutes.
Choice of partner can be another attributing factor. Contrary to popular belief, men actually do use their brains during sex and if psychologically they are not into their partner, then they may experience performance issues.
Similarly, being nervous about sex with a new partner can cause anxiety down below, but remember, there is no rush to jump into bed. Take your time to get to know the other person and establish that they really are someone you want to be with.
Hard as it may seem, talk to your partner about the problem before it becomes a really big deal. If they are someone worth being with, then they will understand and do all they can to help.
Naturally, if you are really worried about your erections, then see a doctor, who may suggest treatment such as Viagra or some simple lifestyle changes.
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